A Silent Secret
by KandiKitty
Summary: Jade, Tori and Trina move in together, for convenience, during their respective Freshmen/sophomore years. There is an unspoken agreement between Jade and Tori. Can they overcome the obstacles they've made for themselves? Or forever keep their secret.
1. How We Are

**Girl oh girl has it been a LONG while since I've posted anything! WELL here is this fic for my poor neglected kittens!**

 **I Do Not Own Victorious**

 **Lots a Lot a Love, Kandikitty**

 ** _Mamihlapinatapai- (Noun) Two people looking at each other each hoping the other will do what they both desire but neither is willing to do._**

How I got roped into sharing an apartment with the Vega sisters I will never fucking know, yet here I am preparing coffee while a tea kettle warms on the stove. Here _we_ are standing in the kitchen while some random pop song plays in the background. The kettle whistles signaling me to pour the scolding water into a mug with a tea cup and the word 'anxie-TEA' printed on it. A splash of milk plus a small spoon of sugar is how Tori likes her tea. My coffee still has a second so I move to set the table for two. Trina didn't come home last night, shocker. Tori fills our plates with eggs, pancakes and bacon. I set both of our mugs down then take my seat at the head of the table and she sits to my left. This is our new normal, it has been for a few months since the semester started. This is just what we do now apparently.

We sit in silence just eating before she breaks it with a look. Our eyes lock for longer then they should before I answer "You're getting better. It's not burnt this time."

Her eyes betray the glare with amusement. "Yeah, not under cooked either. Tea isn't bad either." She motions to her mug.

"I've never fucked up your tea." I counter taking another forkful of eggs.

"Not that I've told you." The young Vega raises her eyebrow- bait. It's totally a challenge. I don't take it though I've met my max for breakfast conversation.

"You've got 7 minutes to get ready or I'm leaving you." I smirk. It's not entirely a serious statement but I do have a class in half an hour and it takes 20 minutes to get to campus from here. I receive a real glare this time before she huffs off to her room. I exhale slowly taking a deliberate sip of coffee. This woman will definitely be the death of me, or at least my GPA. All I want to do is stay in this bubble, stay home and see how things play out. I can feel the tension between us and maybe if we are alone for longer than a few hours something will happen... Though neither of us could handle that right now. There is so much going on. We have other prioritizes we need to focus on.

Right on schedule Tori is wondering into the living room her bag slung casually over her shoulder. I finish lacing my boots up while she grabs my car keys and we are out the door. The drive is comfortable, my music fills the space, and she sits leaning more toward me than not. This is just how it is. How we are. After I park we get out and there is a second of silence where we just stare at each other. I can feel it, like a magnet, I want to kiss her, hug her- something affectionate but I don't. She doesn't either.

"I have to prep some sets tonight. Bring me dinner in the theater." It's not something that needs to be said, Tori always brings me dinner when I have to stay late. My entire class knows who she is. Yet it's an excuse to continue talking to her right now.

"Always so bossy. What if I already have dinner plans?" Her arms cross but there is a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"Who would have dinner with you?" I quip very aware of the irony in that sentence.

"Oh I have options." The brunette is full on grinning. Her arms drop as she slowly starts walking away "Later Jade."

I scowl. "Whatever." I walk in the opposite direction. I _know_ she was joking but it wasn't a false statement. Vega has always had options. I sit in a middle row dropping my bag on the table in front of me when my phone goes off: " _Usual sushi order? ;)"_ I roll my eyes. This chick will definitely be the death of me.

It's well passed 11 when we make our way back into the apartment. Together we collapse on the couch. Her head falls on my shoulder and mine lays on top of hers. "Can't it be summer already?"

"Vega it's October. Just be happy it's almost the weekend." Her only response was groan.

"Does that even count? It's opening weekend for your play and I have that test on Monday... We have no break! I really just need a night out."

"We can do something next weekend okay? Just need to get through this fucking week." I'm sure there were so many implications in my sentence but both of us were too tired to address or not address them. We were asleep in moments.


	2. How We Could Be

**Remember Kittens, I am a college student. I'm already drowning in course work and preparing for my first exams. I will try to update when I can but I am also working on like 3 or 4 stories at once.**

 **I also tried to make this one longer! Please enjoy!**

 **I Do Not Own Victorious**

 **Lots a Lot a Love, Kandikitty**

 ** _Absquatulate- (verb) to leave abruptly_**

With my play, Vega's exam, and our combined homework load. Our conversation on the couch, half asleep mind you, was all but forgotten. We never brought it up, like most things between us. So when Friday inevitably rolled around again I didn't know what to expect. Would we actually go out to do something? Would she even mention hanging out at all? My already intense stress levels were reaching all new highs. I tried to quell my anxiety by not thinking about it.

I simply sat at the table drinking coffee, staring at an empty computer screen that should hold my outline for a new scene. However I could hear Tori moving about her room, music playing as usual. She was getting ready for something. Whether it had anything to do with me was yet to be seen. When I heard her door open I frantically toggled to The Slap scrolling through the news to seem like I was doing something other than panicking.

"How do I look?" She asked holding out her arms in a semi shrug.

How did she look? That didn't deserve an answer, it didn't need an answer. Tori, as beautiful as ever, was fitted in a violet dress that hugged her in a perfect way. Not revealing much just accenting everything in the best way. Her make up matched. It was clear she spent a long while getting ready, but what does my smart mouth say "What you got a date or something?"

Her eyes roll in that knowing way. "Yes Jade, I have a date. Do I look okay? Does it seem like I'm trying to hard?"

"Are you trying to hard?" Oh Christ, yes let me just dig my grave.

"Ooookay! I'm going to take that as I look fine thanks. I'm having dinner with Greig from Lab." She _strutted_ to the counter getting a glass out, slightly standing on her tip toes. She didn't have shoes on yet.

"You should wear your converse." I stated not taking my eyes off of her. The thought was out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Don't misunderstand, I love when she gets dressed up, but Vega in her usual clothes was just nice.

Setting her glass on the counter her face scrunched up in confusion. "I'm dressed to the nines in the most fancy get up I can muster and you think I should wear converse." The sentence dropped off in exhaustion.

"Converse are nice." Yup okay this needed to stop, I couldn't think clearly with her looking so... pulchritudinous. Oh! Thank you brain for giving me _that_ word but not helping me communicate like a normal human! I all but slammed my laptop closed standing with too much force almost sending my chair to the floor. "Well I'm headed to the, that- I'm going to Ihop! Have fun on your date, make good choices bring condoms don't do drugs ya know have fun!" I stumbled over my thoughts, words just tumbling from my lips as I shoved shoes on and leaving without waiting for her to respond. I took the stairs at a run reaching my car in record time just incase she decided to follow me. "What the fuck." I mumbled to myself while actually heading toward the closest Ihop.

* * *

It just so happened Andre was working tonight, how lucky? We made ideal chit chat when he had lulls in customers. I'd been there for almost an hour at this point.

"You wanna talk about why you're here, or are you gonna make me guess?" He bluntly asked after I kept dodging his subtle attempts.

I sighed heavier than I intended to, taking a large mouthful of coffee trying to prolong my answer as much as possible. After all these years Andre has seen me at my worst and, much like Tori, he can see through me. "Vega has a date." I finally stated.

"Ah, trouble in Arcadia. I should have known. You realize there is a simple fix for your problems right?" He gives me _that_ look.

"And what would that be, oh high master of love?" I ask with an eye roll.

"Just tell her how you feel. Everyone knows you two are heels over head for each other. One of you just needs to pay the piper and say it."

"It isn't a good time Andre, we are fuck deep in our majors. I'm not going to force more stress on top of her or myself for that matter."

"Jade, there is never going to be a good time. You will always see some kind of excuse not to do it. Muscle up buttercup and get your lady." He nodded to the door. Vega was standing there looking a bit frazzled until her eyes took mine. A grin broke her face as she walked over to us. "Let me get some more coffee" He smiled hugging Tori before taking the pot and heading to the back.

"That was a fast date." I felt my eyebrow raise on its own accord.

A nervous laugh slipped out as she shrugged "I sort of left early."

"He that much of a prick? Shit." I took a drink forcing down the hope that started to bubble in my chest.

"No he was a complete gentlemen." She watched as Andre came back filling up both their mugs before cursing under his breath as a party of 10 walked in.

"What made you leave than?" We locked eyes, both knowing the answer.

"I had somewhere else to be." She hid her smirk behind her cup as a converse covered foot bumped into my boot.


	3. How We Should Be

**I'm having much more fun than I anticipated with finding fun words to use for chapters. Prepare for your next vocabulary word kittens!**

 **WOW Where to start, I originally posted this at 230am without proof reading because why the hell not. But some homie who is hiding as a guest gave a really nasty review. So I took it down to rework it, however I would like to say- This is a FANFIC meaning yes my characters will be different than the show. That's the whole point, if you don't like my version don't read it.**

 **Secondly my word for this chapter is BLATHERSKITE please read the definition. This chapter is meant to not make much sense.**

 **Lastly, I am going through some shit right now and my writing it suffering for it so please be kind and as usual I will take constructive criticism.**

 **I Do Not Own Victorious**

 **Lots a Lot a Love, Kandikitty**

 _ **Blatherskite- (noun) a person who talks at great length without making much sense**_

Tori and I stood at the entry way into the kitchen, a bulky guy in just pajama pants was bustling around making breakfast. "Who the fuck are you?" I finally questioned when he didn't notice us.

He jumped slight "Christ! Don't scare me like that!" Smiling at us he turned to grab plates "Trina said you guys sleep late so I didn't think you'd be up yet. Either of you...want coffee?" He asked quietly noticing we still hadn't moved.

"It's too early for this." I grumbled nodding at him as I moved to take the cup he poured.

"You must be Jade, making you Tori. Yeah I can see the resemblance. I'm Erin nice to finally meet you!" Erin smiled brightly again, he was like a ray of sunshine.

"Erin like the guy Trina has been gushing about every time she is home, Erin?" Tori questioned sitting in her usual spot.

"I thought she was stalking him." I mumbled into my cup.

"Uh. Nope we are dating."

"That's my mug." I told him as he was tending to the eggs on the stove.

"Ah makes sense. Trina said you were a horror fanatic." He looked down at 'The Scissoring' stamped in bloody red print on the black mug.

"You sure know a lot us." Tori commented.

"Trina talks about you both all the time. Mostly how you're nothing but trouble and cause huge headaches for her." He shook his head with a ghost of a smile. Did he actually _like_ Trina?

The for mentioned brunette came stalking out. "Now that you've officially met my sister and her girlfriend, will you please come back to bed?" She asked wrapping her arms around his waist

"Aw come on I'm making breakfast. We can chow down and cuddle on the couch okay?" He asked softly to which she nodded before slumping on the couch.

We didn't correct her mistake, or maybe we didn't want to. Either way the abrupt stating of 'girlfriend' lingered in the air, making an awkward silence between us. I wanted to say something sarcastic to get out of this funk but I could feel the blush on my face and _see_ it on Toris.

"I'm, I just, that isn't... I'm going back to bed!" She yelped quickly heading back to her room without looking at me.

This is not how I pictured this morning going. I pinched the bridge of my nose. Today was not going as planned...

* * *

"It just ruined the morning. I mean I don't know what I was expecting to happen but it defiantly was _not_ that." Beck and I were sitting on his tail gate. After Tori went back to her room I got dressed and left. I didn't know what else to do.

"You always make everything so complicated don't you?" He laughed watching a group of girls as they walked by.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I growled looking out passed the parking lot to the beach in front of us.

"For a blunt person you are never up front about how you feel. Andre is right just tell her and get this mess over with. She likes you too, we all know it. Hell even Cat has picked up on it and _that_ is saying something."

"I can't just tell her how I feel. Plus if you all are so sure she likes me why hasn't she said something. It's a two way thing." I pulled my knees up to my chest, I hated talking seriously about my emotions but that seemed to be all anyone wanted to do. Just let me bitch damn it.

"You're so dense sometimes. She hasn't said anything because she knows you aren't ready. Tori isn't the type to force emotions on to anyone. Yeah she'll force you outta your comfort zone and make you do things you don't want to do, but that's usually for like an hour. Feelings are for much longer, she doesn't want to force anything lasting onto you if you aren't ready. If that happens it just makes something that will end and I don't think she wants a fling."

"You just talk out of your ass." There was no bite in my words.

"That is exactly what I'm talking about." He jumped down, knowing I'd follow, "Let's get lunch."

* * *

 **About the same time Beck and Jade are talking~**

"-one night you had to come home! I was going to make her coffee and have breakfast! We were going to have a good morning but no this shirtless human had to be in our kitchen with her favorite mug!" Tori was pacing around the apartment yelling at Trina and Erin. Her thoughts were racing to a point of her mouth barely keeping up.

"I thought you said they were dating?" Erin asked Trina in a hushed voice. The couple hadn't noticed the weird exchange before the two girls left out of the blue.

"They are, they just don't know it yet." It wasn't Trina's usual way of dealing with her sister, just taking the blows instead of fighting back, but she honestly didn't understand what was happening right now. One second Erin is making a lovely breakfast and the next everyone is slamming doors and leaving.

"I left a great guy to go be with her at some shitty diner for Christ sakes, if that isn't love I don't know what is! I thought it was finally a good time to tell her how I feel. Today was going to be the day I changed this weird tension between us. I had it all planed out. Coffee, breakfast, confession, Jade's awkward attempt to dodge out of the conversation then her giving up and us making out! It was going to be great!" Tori continued, mostly to herself at this point.

"Ohh you're made because you didn't get to make out with her. Now I get it." Trina smirked at Tori's slip up.

"I meant make up! Make up for her trying to argue and start a fight so we wouldn't have to address anything." The younger sister stopped in her tracks, beet red.

"No, no I'm sure you meant what you said. Even if I didn't understand most of it. You're upset we messed up your sexy time." Trina winked before standing up. "We will get out of your way now. We have a nice date day planed today too ya know." Erin followed her lead. Looking for any excuse to not be on the end of Tori's wrath any longer. "Now go make 'up' with your girlfriend and we promise to be out for the rest of the weekend. Love you!"

Tori stood dumbfounded watching the couple leave. Her anger finally subsided at the truth finally being said aloud. She and Jade had been tip toeing around their feelings so long it was a hard realization that her mere crush had changed sometime in the passed few years. Somewhere, during the unsaid questions and not questioned flirting, somehow she had actually fallen for the woman who had once hated her. Yet instead of just saying it, Tori let it slide always convinced there was a better moment or even maybe Jade would act first. But now, the word floating around her like an annoying fly, the feeling was something she couldn't ignore anymore. She loved Jade West.


End file.
